My grandma tells a story of when she was in elementary school and this apparently bratty little girl offered her a candy bar and when she reached out to accept it the girl pulled it back. My grandma readily admits that to this day, nearly seventy years later, this small episode of rejection still haunts her. It is also the reason she gives when I ask why she must try and force-feed anyone that enters her house. I’m not sure how she makes the connection between being tricked by a school-yard brat and badgering guests until they relent and have at least a snack-size Twix, but my point is the smallest of things, things that others may not even have a recollection of, can drop a seed of discontent into our forming minds that grow into life-long struggles.
And that is the thought the crossed my mind as I saw Adam’s face fall in the fish aisle last Sunday at Costco. We came around the corner and were face to face with a bin of bright red crabs, their jagged claws propped against the glass. Adam was thrilled and we both laughed as we waved our "claws" in the air saying, "Hey, hey, hey", in a silly interpretation of the crabs in Finding Nemo. Next was a big bin of striped tiger prawns, whom Adam mistakenly called worms. The lady beside us started laughing at his comment and I chuckled back in a funny-what-kids-will-think-of kind of way until I looked down and saw Adam’s face bow to the side in shame. He peered up and timidly asked, "Well, what are they called then, momma?" I instantly tried to save his little ego saying, "Well, they’re called prawns, but they sure do look like worms piled up there, don’t they?" while flashing the lady my best angry momma bear look, which I must admit came partly from the guilt of my own light-hearted chuckle. I had never seen that look on Adam’s face before, he’s usually such an adventurous, take-it-and give-it-right-back-to-ya type of kid, and it broke my heart to think the embarrassment from such a tiny mistake may cause hesitation the next time he goes to offer an answer or an opinion. Or that maybe he'd be afaid to order any kind of crustacean from the menu for the rest of his life. I’m sure this is probably a moment that will stick more in my psyche than his, but it is a gentle reminder for me nonetheless that as we strive to make them healthy and safe and smart, that it can be their hearts that can be so easily – and permanently – bruised. Kinda like the left eye of the next person that laughs at my kid.
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