Mommy Meltdown

Today has been one of those days. One of those days where you cannot take one more grimy toddler hand streaked across your shirt or one more sassy comment or even so much as another simple question like, "Why?" "Why do I have to eat my dinner?", "Why do I have to get my diaper changed?", "Why can't I stand in front of the TV?" "Why can't I eat my boogers?" Why? WHY? WHY? Because, BECAUSE, BECAUSE! Because I effing said so, that's why!!!

I don't want to hear one more whiny word. I don't want even one more single, solitary request to be made of me. There will be no more eating tonight, no more stories and I swear to all that is holy if you get out of bed one more time I will staple your GD diaper to the sheets. I want it to be silent, I want to be left alone and I do not want one more finger to be laid upon me. That means you too, Damonn.

I have been bonked in the head, had my lip split and my fingers stepped on. I have prepared and cleaned and laundered and soothed and disciplined and entertained to the brink of insanity. I don't care if the dog looked at you. I don't care if your sister has one more Goldfish cracker than you do. In fact, at this moment it would take all the gumption I could muster to care if one of you happened to be bleeding. And also - Chutes & Ladders is a stupid, stupid game of perpetual parental torture. AaarrrgggHHH!!

Where is the GD wine? And cookies.