So a good friend of mine emailed me today saying she almost called last night to commiserate on the hurdles of a working mother and asked if I ever get overwhelmed with multitude of duties that are required of us. Is she kidding? I sent her a link to this blog.
M- I wrote this a couple of weeks ago. I know exactly how you feel.
Will life just stop for one minute? Just let me catch my breath. I always say it's Summer that's so busy and that I can't wait for Fall when things will slow down, but who am I kidding. September is already booked and then starts the "Holiday Trifecta" of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Throw in Hanukkah for our mixed religion family and some kind of lame New Years celebration that comes no where near our pre-kid festivities and usually ends in going to bed at 12:02 and I've got the rest of the year booked even before Labor Day hits. But its not really the standard, built-into-your-calendar holidays that bring you to your knees. You can plan for those. Its those little ones that sneak up and sucker punch you when you're not looking. Like, a playmate's birthday party. . . or. . . . impromtu family reunions for out-of-town relatives. Or the ones that always get me. . . . the company dinners out. I swear these come at the most inopportune times. And, ya know, if I'm actually going to take the time to find and pay a babysitter, I really don't want to spend the time with my husbands co-workers, most of whom I barely know and rarely have anything in common with. You mix all that up with a trip to the Urgent Care for your son's ear infection, a late night at work and getting brake work done on your car and suddenly you find yourself bawling behind the bathroom door drooling on your to-do list as your toddler pokes his little fingers beneath the door asking, "Mommy is you sad?" and your husband yells, "Have you seen my shoes" -for the third time today- from the downstairs family room.
The other day I saw a magnet that said, "You know you're stressed when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet". That is my life right now. Full time job. Two kids. A dog. Husband. And a calendar that doesn't leave time for filling your gas tank much less groceries. I just want it to stop - or at least slow down. I feel like I'm so busy doing what needs to be done that I dont' have time to see what is actually happening. The day is over, then the week, now most of the month. And what has been accopmlished? Really? Nothing but eat, sleep, work and the current calendar event. But what has been enjoyed, what will even be remembered? For my kids at least I hope its more than just mommy being sad behind the bathroom door. And because of that hope, I dry my pitiful tears, throw my to-do list in the trash, and grab my kids for gummy worms and an extra bedtime story.
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