You can't fix stupid. . .

A friend and I went to lunch the other day at this little dive down the street from where we work called The Old Barn (good greasy burgers and fries) and when the waitress brings me my burger she says, "Do you need any ketchup or mustard?". I say, "No, I'm good, but I could use a straw." She gives me a strange look and then disappears. A few minutes later she brings me not a regular straw in a wrapper, but two drink straws, you know, the skinny flourescent ones. I take them (kind of grossing out that she's touching my straw without a wrapper) and she just stands there. I glance up at her and still she just stands there. So I glance at my friend like, "What the hell is she doing?" and then go on and put my straw(s) into my water. . . . at which point she says, "OH, okay, I wondered why you needed a straw for your burger!" What the fuck?! I couldn't even pretend she wasn't the dumbest fucking person on Earth. I just looked at her and said (in a completely sacrastic, smart-ass way), "Nope, its for my water!" My friend and I just sat and stared at each other. There are no words for that. . . . except, "You can't fix stupid"!